So lonely... I've lost direction in life... I've lost sense in everything I do...

Is it me.. or am I giving a bad impression to everybody...

Sobz...

I dont even know who am I now...

Every single thing I do seem to be wrong... what went wrong... I wonder...

I dont want to revert back to the quiet, reserved self I once was... I changed because I wanted to fit in... but I realized that I'm slowly going back...

Lonely... so cold...

I wish I had somebody to talk to...

I've gotta find out who I truly am... I've lost my identity while trying to gain an identity that will be accepted...

I was never good at anything... so why am I comparing?
The tagger was correct... I gained so much more then so many people, who come from broken families, who couldnt even touch polytechnic, who live in poverty...

But why am I still so disappointed with my life?

Maybe its because I could do better...
But I've kinda thrown away that idea cos' I know that I did my best... and if I do anymore, I'll suffer a breakdown...

I hope that I will never be on the "dislike" list of people... that is something that I'm extremely frightened to be...

I've lost all sense of competition... I just feel a shadow hovering just near to me... blind.. in the darkness...
I've become enveloped in my own self-deception...

Why cant I be who I want to be...

Last night, I had a nightmare... It has been so long since I had a nightmare... But instead of doing anything, I just let the dream sweep my by... Till the last part when I delibrately destroyed the hidious child...
What could it mean...

Haiz...

Everytime I try I fall...
Everything I see makes me so small...

Does anybody care?...
Doesnt anybody care...

sobz....